change of scene.

If we lived in Nelson, we could own this house. Or this house.

Ask me how over this city I am. I've wanted to leave for so long, it's almost the only constant. Where I want to go changes, but wanting to leave never does. Tom doesn't. He suggested Maple Ridge as a compromise. But Maple Ridge is actually my idea of hell. It's not that I can't stand Vancouver, it's just that I don't feel a connection to it. I don't feel satisfied here. I know that to an extent, the only zen you find in a place is the zen you brought there, but I really think there are certain places in the world where it is easier to tap into that inner peace.

I want Leila to have a yard. I want her to be able to go outside and create imaginary stories that she narrates to herself. I want to live in a house that doesn't share walls with my neighbours. I should be grateful for what I have I know, but I can't shake this feeling of slight unease, like I'm in the wrong place. It's like one of those dreams where you're making lattes at school or taking a bath at work. The actions and locations just aren't meeting up.